I put significant pressure on myself to get Christmas shopping well out of the way, striving to be finished before turning the calendar over to December. Why is that? Maybe it’s so I can get back to relaxing and immersing myself into my hobbies once again, as it’s been a while since I’ve last made a post.
What do I do to break my absence from writing anything? The easiest way is revisiting old themes, and Christmas is a great way to do that.
Seven years back, I compiled a Christmas mix-tape of some recommended holiday-affiliated songs, so I figured I was due for a sequel. For my fellow Canadians, think along the lines of those Big Shiny Tunes CDs that Much Music would release annually. I’m always discovering new Christmas songs, and there are many that I excluded or that didn’t make the cut last time. Like the previous one, I’ll go with a dozen songs, a blend of ones that drift off the beaten path to some more traditional numbers.
Okay, let’s get into the Christmas spirit!
Halford – “Get Into The Spirit”
See! What did I tell you?
Okay, perhaps the only spirit you’ll get from this is the demonic urge to bang your head, but I’ve never met a metal-head who wasn’t happy to do so. Happiness is contagious, and just the thing you need around this time of year.
Admittedly, I was a bit let down when I first heard the Winter Songs album. Not that the album as a whole is a bad listen (it could use a few more heavy numbers), but I had pre-emptively imagined arrangements of various carols in my head based on Judas Priest’s and Rob Halford’s great body of work. His take on the likes of “We Three Kings” and “O Holy Night” didn’t quite live up to the lofty standards of my imagination, but I got much more entertainment from some of the album’s originals. Of all the Halford-penned tracks here (there are four in total), “Get Into The Spirit” was wisely selected as lead-off single for promoting the album.
“Get Into the Spirit” has what you’d want from a song with Rob Halford’s vocals, striking a balance of heavy and anthemic. If you were to compare it to other songs in his discography, I’d point to “Freewheel Burning” or “Resurrection”, each of which were opening tracks on their respective albums. Of all the songs on Winter Songs, it’s easily the one that hits the hardest.
It’s not overtly Christmas-themed in the lyrics, but it emphasizes unity, being around those close to you, expressing thankfulness for all that you’ve accomplished and your shared potential to do good. It could just as easily have been a Thanksgiving song, but I do share such feelings on just about any gathering of those dear to me. That would further make this an appropriate mix-tape starter, as the American Thanksgiving is often considered an unofficial beginning of the Christmas holiday season.
Frank Zappa – “Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow”
“Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow” may have been the first Frank Zappa song I ever heard. Perhaps it will be yours, too. The song serves as a great entry point into the world of Zappa’s music, definitely among his more accessible tracks. That thudding bass line, groovy drumming, warm chorus of backing vocals, all make up for a novel toe-tapping tune.
The narrative of the song came from a dream Zappa had where he was an Eskimo named Nanook, part of a tale that is also captured in the tracks from Apostrophe (‘) that immediately follow it, “Nanook Rubs It” and “St. Alphonso’s Pancake Breakfast”. As the song was released as a single, I feel no guilt attached to separating it from the other two songs.
It’s a great cautionary tale on the surface about some of the dangers of a cold climate. You could obviously say that snow should not be eaten at all, but when you witness first-hand how yellow snow is created, that should kill the fantasy. Lyrically, it’s a lesson to take with you throughout the entire winter season. I’m certain that I instinctively knew what such yellow stains meant, but I do recall supervisors on the schoolyard at recess saying something along the lines of the song’s title. It’s a mistake you’d only make once, so be thankful if you knew someone who learned the lesson the hard way before you ever had the chance.
Columns – “Laid Off for X-Mas”
Here’s one that I’d place good money on 99 percent of you (probably 99.9 percent would be more accurate) never having heard, and if you have heard it, you may not have hoped to listen to it again. I wouldn’t blame anyone for their lack of Columns awareness since they only released one full-length album (Please Explode in 2014). I happened to obtain said album in a crowd-funding project for the Slave to the Grind documentary, so my own introduction to Columns may not have come until a later date (if at all).
We have here one of the more unfortunate subjects to be found in my mix-tape, but it’s a grim reality for some. My dad dealt with lay-offs for an extended time when I was in grade school, and I can recall some of the resulting atmosphere all these years later. Some things may have been scaled back to a degree, but overall I still recall having an enjoyable Christmas holiday. Some families aren’t as lucky.
If the grindcore genre is a tough listen for you, the frustration of the track could replicate stress levels similar to scrambling for a job. Fast forward (this is a cassette tape, in theory), if you must, but it’s right up my alley.
Albert King – “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’”
Quite a shift from the last track into such a funky number here, but go with it! I imagine it would be quite easy, as it’s a much easier track to sing along with.
Too similar a theme to “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, perhaps? Well you’ve heard that song enough, so it’s time to bow to the King! On that, I speak the truth. Albert King is viewed as true royalty in blues, as he’s considered to be one of the great Three Kings of the blues along with B.B. King and Freddie King (no relation). Why the three of them didn’t collaborate on a Christmas album together, or even merely the song “We Three Kings”, I have no idea.
The song brings up an important consideration: not enough people ask Santa Claus what he wants. That’s why the milk and cookies seems like a suitable item to leave him, a generic enough snack sure to give St. Nick a sugar-high to power through a whole, time zone-spanning night of deliveries. Why not some lovin’? I’m not saying offer him sexual favours or anything. He’s got a wife at home, for Rudolph’s sake! Maybe give him a little nudge in the right direction into her arms, a little advice. Leave a letter for him professing how much you love your partner to inspire feelings for his own woman back at home.
If you feel your words fail to convey such a message, maybe tuck a back-issue of Penthouse Forum under the cookie plate, leave a playlist of Red Shoe Diaries episodes playing on the television, or lay off any perverted tactics and hope Santa will figure it out in his own way.
Genesis – “Snowbound”
For full disclosure, I’d been calling this song “Snowman” due to the song’s chorus, and will probably continue to do so long after I write about it. Anyway, this one is more of a winter theme rather than Christmas, taken from the first Genesis album from their so-called “pop-era” when the band was reduced to the trio of vocalist/drummer Phil Collins, guitarist/bassist Mike Rutherford, and keyboardist Tony Banks, which was aptly titled And Then There Were Three.
The keyboard melodies accompanying the acoustic guitar gives a simultaneously melancholic and whimsical feeling, matching the winter season itself. I’m not sure where I saw this, but I read somewhere that the song was about a man that was buried in the snow. Some of the lyrics do align with that. “Like a sleeper whose eyes sees the pain with surprise as it smothers your cries” does sound rather ominous, as does “smiling faces tear your body to the ground, covered red that only we see”. Does a severely frost-bitten body have a reddish hue? I’m not sure, but I don’t want to think that the songwriter (Rutherford) had dark intent. You could also gather a meaning that it’s a snowfall over top of the deceased, like in a cemetery rather than some unfortunate over-exposed individual. “They say a snow year’s a good year, filled with the love of all who lie so deep” sure sounds like that to me.
On the other hand, the line of “here in a ball that they made from the snow on the ground” recalls a traditional snowman, and “in a casing that’s grown to children’s delight that arrived overnight” tethers the song in a more festive direction if you’d rather leave the deceased out of this altogether. It’s a time of year where the best of us can feel isolated and snowed in, particular once snowfall becomes more burdensome in January and February, so to me this song celebrates the beauty of snow. This could very well have been an attempt to update “Winter Wonderland” for a modern audience.
Various Artists – “Little Drummer Boy”
Here’s another oddity for you. I found the We Wish You A Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year CD that this track came from in the well-stocked Christmas section of my go-to second-hand music store just last year. I wanted to pick a track from this, but had a dilemma. Should I go with one that’s a radical re-interpretation of a standard, or one that plays it straightforward?
Naturally, the Bing Crosby and David Bowie take on “Little Drummer Boy” in their infamous medley would be the popular way to digest this song about a diminutive percussionist, but any radio station worth their bandwidth should be giving it more air-time than that damn Mariah Carey song anyway. If you want an alternative version of the Katherine Kennicott Davis-penned classic, here it is. It kicks of with (what else?) a drum intro. However, it’s of a different flavour: a big, fat, arena-rock kind of beat in place of the typical ba-rum-pa-pum-pum marching band snare drum rhythm. A very solid rendition of the song without trying to go too aggressive with it, keeping the core melody in-tact.
I used to own a Metallica tribute album (Metallic Assault) that was also co-produced by one of the men behind this Christmas album, session guitarist Bob Kulick. The album took a seemingly random assortment of rock and metal musicians and got them to record together. Whether or not any of the musicians were in the same room (or even country, for that matter) when recording their parts, I do not know. The lineup on this song includes Doug (often spelled “dUG”) Pinnick (King’s X) on vocals, George Lynch (Dokken, Lynch Mob) on guitar, Billy Sheehan (David Lee Roth, Mr. Big) on bass, and Simon Philips (Jeff Beck, Toto) on drums.
However, there was some real-world chemistry captured here. Pinnick and Lynch would go on to play together in a project of their own, KXM, with Korn drummer Ray Luzier filling out the trio. They likely knew each other well before this song was recorded, but it’s still one of the few examples I can think of off-hand where there are past, present, or future band mates on the same song (the Testament reunion pairing of Chuck Billy and John Tempesta on “Silent Night” being another).
Jon Anderson – “Save All Your Love”
I don’t know what it is about this track that just feels magical to me. It’s admittedly a bit cheesy. I actually heard “The Holly and the Ivy” from the same album on a trip back from my grandmother’s Christmas gathering around 10 years ago, and I thought that song was really cheesy!! Still, I saw Jon Anderson’s 3 Ships album for cheap in a used record bin last year, and decided to snatch it up to add some variety to my Christmas collection.
Yes, it’s sort of cheesy, with some of the trappings of the 1980s in terms of the backing track, but the Christmas holidays is a cheesy time of year. Keep in mind that this is the time of year that people chop down trees, put them in their living rooms, and decorate them with strings of lights, and hang hooked ornaments on them shaped like anything from Santa Claus to cast members of Golden Girls. Seemingly weird traditions deserve an appropriate soundtrack.
I like that this was an original among a number of covers, with words hinting at self-improvement (“to be a better child”), making the world a better place while cementing good standing on Santa’s list. Writing a holiday song would be tough, and this song does a fine job of doing so without hitting you over the head with adding sleigh bells or bellowing “ho-ho-hos”. Sort of an incognito Christmas song on what is mostly an incognito Christmas album. That being said, if you want to hear what another one of the traditional tunes from the album sounds like, you must check out the music video for the album’s title track, which features Jon piloting a crude-looking spaceship into MTV Studios.
An interesting bonus is that the 3 Ships album came out the year I was born (1985), so one of its songs may have been blaring over the speakers at Upper Canada Mall while my parents were scrambling to buy my first-ever Christmas gifts.
Accept – “Winter Dreams”
I can’t lie. I was just punching in all sorts of holiday-affiliated words into my Windows Media Player library to see what came up. This Accept track made the cut, with my three-month-encapsulating “winter” query to thank for it.
Look past the somewhat gruff exterior of these German gentlemen, and you’ll find a song that is actually rather gentle and reflective. Beginning with a delicate intro featuring a pulsing bass pattern with a bit of a flamenco flair on guitar and percussion. From there, you head into somewhat more familiar territory. It still houses some metallic elements with soaring leads and the occasional power chord to counter some of the softer elements, but it nonetheless stands in contrast to the rest of the Balls to the Wall album. I could easily hear this being played by their fellow countrymen, the Scorpions, who are more known for power ballads of their own.
Accept are a metal band that emerged in the 1980s, so when perusing the lyrics, I was looking for it to be laced with innuendos. None of that can be found here. It’s actually some nice, tranquil poetry, very much worthy of your time.
John Scofield – “Cracked Ice”
An instrumental? Sure! You can name an instrumental pretty much anything, and the listening audience has no choice but to sit back and take it.
One could interpret the term “cracked ice” in a few ways. There’s the winter way, where a body of water covered in ice starts to crack, causing potential danger to those wishing to skate on the surface. There’s also the summer way, where you put ice in a beverage and it cracks as it adjusts to the temperature in the liquid. The summer way can also be the winter way, as some families opt to take a Christmas or winter vacation in a warmer location (Home Alone 2, anyone?).
As for the music, I detect a hint of a jingle bell percussive sound in there, just enough to make me grasp this as a holiday possibility. It seems to be a regular component of the drummer’s toolkit throughout the album, as I noticed it also appears on Überjam Deux’s following track, “Al Green Song”.
I often find smaller jazz ensembles lend themselves well to winter weather. Just the other day, I had another band lead by a guitarist (Alex Skolnick Trio) playing as I was driving passed snow-capped fields when that thought dawned on me yet again. Scofield’s bands have the same fit, led by a very expressive guitarist known more for going with the right notes rather than going with the most notes. Winter driving can be stressful enough, but I think ‘Sco’ can help you chill out.
I’m set to see him live for the fourth time this coming March, if that tells something about my endorsement of his work. Good for 365 days of the year.
Ella Fitzgerald – “Good Morning Blues”
Time for a traditional Christmas song. Or so I originally intended…
Ella Wishes You A Swinging Christmas has tons of carols that you grew up loving. You could randomize the track you select, and you’d have a real crowd-pleaser on your hands. However, there’s one track in particular that caught me by surprise, “Good Morning Blues”. When I bought the album last year, I almost assumed the track listing was in error. “Good Morning Blues” is the only track from the album’s twelve songs that doesn’t have that holiday name recognition.
It fits in very well on the album, and is rather minimal in the lyric department. Not much room for misinterpreting, and you pretty much can’t go wrong any way you slice it. It seems either she longs to see her lover (or an ex-lover) on Christmas, or her child. There aren’t many other contexts in which “baby” is typically used as presented. No matter who she’s singing about, she’s clearly heart-broken, fitting for a time of year when you can do some reflection about your relationships and look to potentially remedy them as a New Years’ resolution.
The vibraphones are one of the most underrated instruments out there, and I enjoy the way they play around Ella’s vocals as the song wraps up. For the sake of giving the instrument slightly more exposure, this song stays in place of the more popular cuts on her album.
Weird Al Yankovic – “The Night Santa Went Crazy”
If you like, this song can be swapped with Weird Al Yankovic’s earlier holiday song “Christmas at Ground Zero”, but this song sprung to mind first since Bad Hair Day was where I got my first good taste of this entertaining parodist. I saw Weird Al live for the first time ever this past summer, and was moved to tears at one point when the band unexpectedly played “Everything You Know Is Wrong”. I’ve got such an attachment to that album it’s not even funny. Well, actually Bad Hair Day is very funny, but you get my meaning.
It’s simply a coincidence that it worked out this way, but I find it pleasing that my Christmas mix-tape for 2025 contains a nod to the recently-deceased Ozzy Osbourne. The Night Santa Went Crazy” shares musical similarities with his ballad “Mama I’m Comin’ Home” in the intro and verse’s chord progression. I’m pretty certain that I got this album on Christmas the year that it was released, and in another coincidence, I believe my brother got his No More Tears cassette at the same time.
This may also be one of the most violent tracks he ever laid down. “Well, the workshop is gone now. He decided to bomb it. Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet” is a verse straight out of a GWAR or Dayglo Abortions song, which progresses in absurdity from there. I don’t think the violence of the track should concern anyone. I held my belief in Santa Claus longer than most kids, but the words never shook me, and the tone of the song softens the blow. I don’t think Weird Al has a mean bone in his body, so take such exploration as a delightful rarity.
I’d set this song as an amusing album-closer, the precise location it sits on Bad Hair Day, but it’s the penultimate track for a good reason.
Beach Boys – “Auld Lang Syne”
It seems like we lost lots of musicians in 2025, hasn’t it? I’m not a well-versed listener of the Beach Boys, but given Brian Wilson’s death this past June, I figure this is a suitable way to pay tribute to yet another musician.
I don’t know where The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album would rank within their discography, but I find it an overall enjoyable listen that blends fresh arrangements of holiday staples with some re-worked versions of their own previously-released songs (such as “Little Saint Nick” sounding similar to “Little Deuce Coupe”). A great closing number (though the version off the album I own has an overdubbed message by Dennis Wilson that I find distracting), as it one that signifies the conclusion of what is typically considered the end of the Christmas holiday season, being the unofficial anthem of New Years’ Day. From there on, it’s back to work, back to normal routines, with still plenty of snowfall and 4PM sunsets ahead.
And what can be said about the arrangement? A cappella, very pure, and straight from the heart. This was a clean-cut group of (mostly) relatives, and it’s nice to hear them when they seemed so harmonious. Remember that the band would go on experience some backlash over their image, and even over some questionable associations that were hard to shake. How much did their connections to Charles Manson set their reputation back?
And let’s not forget John Stamos.
Armchair Maestro 